Why Your “Someday Self” Needs More Attention Right Now

You know that version of you you keep saying you’ll become “someday”? The one who meditates regularly, drinks enough water, travels more, finally signs up for the thing, wakes up excited, and somehow doesn’t forget birthdays? Yeah, her.

She’s inspiring. But here’s the thing: she needs more from you than just occasional daydreams and Pinterest boards.

She needs you to show up for her right now.

Not five years from now. Not “after things settle down.” And definitely not once Mercury’s out of retrograde.

Because your someday self—however clear or blurry she might be in your mind—isn’t just a goalpost. She’s a roadmap. And treating her like a moving target? That’s how we get stuck in the loop of almost-living. Always planning. Rarely arriving.

Why “Someday” Thinking Is More Than Just Procrastination

There’s a bit of psychology at play here—and it’s not just about being lazy or indecisive.

The gap between who we are today and who we imagine becoming is often tied to something called “future self-continuity”. It's a concept in behavioral science that explores how connected we feel to the person we’ll be in the future. When we see her as a stranger, we tend to treat her like one—pushing hard tasks onto her, expecting her to magically be more disciplined or confident than we are right now. Dr. Hal Hershfield, a psychologist at UCLA, has done fascinating work on this. He found that the more disconnected we feel from our future selves, the less likely we are to make decisions that benefit that version of us. It’s a bit like expecting someone else to go to the dentist for you. Not happening.

But when you start seeing your future self as you, just with a bit more mileage? That’s when things start to shift. Decisions get a little clearer. You start investing in her instead of deferring everything to her.

So the question becomes: how do you actually do that?

1. Stop Glamorizing the “One Day” Version of You

We often romanticize the future self. You know, the one who has it all figured out—without any of the mess, doubts, or daily decision fatigue.

She doesn’t check email first thing. She has the ideal wardrobe. She’s probably on her way to Pilates.

But let’s be honest: she’s not magic. She’s you, plus the cumulative effect of small, often boring decisions made consistently. She’s the result of right-now you doing things that aren’t always glamorous—like going to bed on time, setting boundaries, or saying no when it matters.

Instead of idolizing her, try normalizing her. Think about what she actually does, not what she represents. Is she clear-headed? Focused? Calm? Then start by building habits that support those traits, one at a time.

One way to do this? Set a weekly “future self” check-in. Nothing elaborate. Ten minutes on a Sunday. Ask:

• What would make next week easier for her?
• What’s one thing she’d thank me for doing today?

Little moves. Big ripple effect.

2. Redefine Progress as a Series of Identity Shifts

Here’s the truth that most productivity hacks don’t tell you: lasting change isn’t about doing more. It’s about becoming someone who chooses differently.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, puts it like this: “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become.” And while that sounds neat, it gets even more interesting when you start to see change as a shift in identity, not just behavior.

You’re not just “trying to write more”—you’re becoming someone who values expression. You’re not “trying to exercise”—you’re becoming someone who moves with purpose. You’re not “trying to be more confident”—you’re becoming someone who trusts herself enough to speak up.

This shift can change everything. Instead of measuring progress by how perfect you are, measure it by how aligned you feel with who you’re becoming.

Start asking yourself:

• What does the version of me who already has what I want do differently?
• How can I embody just one of those behaviors today?

Because when you focus on becoming—not just achieving—you stop chasing and start aligning.

3. Build Micro-Bridges to Who You Want to Be

Here's a common trap: we assume transformation requires overhauling everything. The crash diets, the all-in challenges, the “30 Days to Reinvent Yourself” kind of thing.

But real change? It’s quieter than that. It often looks like building micro-bridges—tiny, intentional actions that link who you are now with who you’re becoming.

Think of it this way: your future self isn't waiting on some big moment. She's built on tiny pivots.

Let’s say your “someday self” is someone who starts the day with clarity. You don’t need a full hour-long morning routine to begin. You just need one grounding action that says, “I’m someone who starts intentionally.”

Maybe that’s journaling for three minutes. Maybe it’s stretching. Maybe it’s putting your phone in another room while you make coffee.

Whatever it is, the point is consistency over grandeur. Your brain loves repetition more than drama.

According to a study, it takes an average of 66 days to form a habit—not 21, like the internet says. Which means small actions, repeated daily, actually have more staying power than sweeping, unsustainable efforts.

Give yourself permission to start small. Because small is honest. Small is doable. And small stacks.

4. Borrow From Your Future Self’s Playbook (Right Now)

This might sound a little woo, but hang with me: What if your future self already has the wisdom you’re looking for?

What if you could ask her for advice today?

Try this: next time you’re stuck in a decision or feeling overwhelmed, pause and ask:

“What would my future self want me to know right now?”

She might say, “Please don’t people-please your way through this.” Or, “Take the walk. It clears your mind every time.” Or even, “You don’t need to fix everything in one week.”

This isn’t magical thinking. It’s a technique rooted in perspective-taking, something psychologists often recommend to help people make more values-aligned decisions. By momentarily stepping outside of your present state, you can gain clarity and avoid the emotional noise that clouds decision-making.

Want to go a step further? Write a letter from your future self. No need to get dramatic—just a page or two. Let her tell you what mattered, what didn’t, what she’s proud of you for, and what she wishes you’d stop worrying about.

It’s surprisingly grounding. And yes, a little emotional. But clarity tends to live there.

Today’s Eight

1. Stop outsourcing your joy to a version of you that doesn’t exist yet. Start savoring what’s already here.
2. Ask better questions—like “What would make this week 10% more aligned with who I want to be?”
3. Celebrate identity-based wins, not just outcomes.
4. Let go of the fantasy future where everything is “perfect”—choose progress over perfection.
5. Turn down the volume on productivity pressure. Not everything has to scale.
6. Make micro-decisions that your future self would be proud of, even if no one else notices.
7. Build trust with yourself by keeping small promises—not just the big ones.
8. Get comfortable with pivots—your “someday self” evolves too, and that’s a good thing.

Your Someday Self Isn’t Waiting—She’s Becoming

Your “someday self” isn’t off in the distance waiting for the stars to align. She’s not a reward for your hustle, or a destination after you’ve earned it.

She’s unfolding right now. Every time you make a choice that feels honest. Every time you pause before reacting. Every time you show yourself a little grace in the middle of a messy week.

You don’t have to become her overnight. You just have to keep choosing her—even in small, subtle ways.

And the more you do, the more she stops feeling like a dream and starts feeling like home.

So go ahead. Start today. Show up for her. Because she’s worth it.

And so are you.